Feeling Gross

23 Aug

I don’t have any health tips today. I just feel like writing. And I happen to be feeling gross. So I’m going to write about just that – feeling disgusting.

First of all, I’m not writing about how ‘fat’ I feel just to hear people tell me the contrary. That’s (one of) the most annoying things women do – fish for compliments. Ick. But ladies, there is not a single one of you that has never felt fat. Defining ‘fat’ is an entirely different conversation, one that will be left for someone – anyone – but me to weigh in on. So for the sake of this post, ‘fat’ means ‘bigger than my/your personal status quo.’ Fair enough? I suppose I could say I feel BTMPSQ but I’m not going to.

I thoroughly enjoyed my weekend and indulged in not only margaritas but french fries galore.  I also sat a lot (it’s a long drive to and from Las Vegas and sitting by a pool is one of my favorite past times). And instead of hitting the gym hard last night to make up for my gluttonous behavior this weekend, I attended a wine mixer with a new(er) friend with the hopes of making even more new friends and potential professional contacts. But here’s where I really did a terrible thing…

After the mixer (that did NOT have heavy hors d’oeuvres like promised) I realized I hadn’t eaten since 12:45 that afternoon. A couple cubes of cheese and some extremely thin apple slices are not dinner (nor are they heavy hors d’oeuvres…). So when I got home, I mindlessly gnoshed on pita chips and hummus in front of the TV (terrible, terrible idea and a habit I’ve GOT to break) followed by not one but two large Trader Joe chocolate chip cookies. Two. TWO!

Why? Because I felt like it. Absolutely no other reason than that. When I finished the second (good Lord why was there even a first??) cookie, I promptly went to bed.

So many things are wrong with that. SO MANY. I went too long without eating, slowing down my metabolism. I then had nothing but salt and sugar for a late-night dinner and after that, I went to sleep – further slowing my metabolism.

I also just realized that my last few posts have been themed the exact opposite of what this blog had started out as. Healthy: Party of One? My giant ass.

My body hates me right now and I don’t blame it. I can feel and see it’s tantrum. “Oh yea, you want fries with that? Have some love handles too!”

I’ve made a good faith effort to get back on track today – low-fat yogurt for breakfast, raw almonds and dried cranberries for mid-morning and afternoon snack, and a mixed greens salad with oil and vinegar for lunch. Dinner will be a Lean Cuisine (yes, a lot of salt but portion and calorie controlled nonetheless…that, and I desperately need to go grocery shopping).

Tonight I will repent even further at the gym. Cardio! Weights! Plyometrics! Sauna! Blood! Sweat! Tears! No muscle will go un-worked! No sweat gland will be dry!

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry Body! Please forgive me! I will never(ish) treat you this way again.


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